by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig
I don’t know about y’all, but I’ve had a very tough time finding time to just relax the past few years.
Part of the problem is that, when I’m not busy with mothering, driving my daughter to various activities, and managing the household, I’m writing, working on my website, figuring out marketing techniques…basically filling any available time up completely.
Part of the problem is that now I have a hard time relaxing in general. I’m very restless during quieter times and I have that overwhelming feeling that I should be working on something. Frequently I’ll jump up after five minutes or so and unload the dishwasher. That kind of thing.
I even wrote a character with this trait: Beatrice in the Southern Quilting mysteries. She can’t relax and can’t seem to make her retirement restful.
I read an article by Emily Tjaden called “4 Reasons to Be Intentional With Your Free Time.” When I curate links on Twitter, sometimes there’s an article that I’ll put to the side–I’ll drag the tab off to the side–and read it again later. This was one of those articles. Because, although I think I subconsciously realized most of the things that she was saying in her post, it resonated with me because I now realized this was something I could be mindful about and possibly help mitigate.
Tjaden says in her post that we can burn through our free time by randomly checking our emails and social media and news stories. I’m certainly guilty as charged.
But I’ll take that even a step further. Frequently I want something to read or watch that will keep me completely engrossed and tame my restlessness. But then I blow through my free time trying to remember that book title or that old movie that should be available on Netflix. Sometimes I blow it catching up on emails or aimlessly scrolling through social media.
I’ve made a couple of adjustments in my approach in the last week and it’s worked really well for me. I feel as if I’m maximizing my free time.
- Now I’m maintaining a TBR list of what I most want to read. My library allows me to add a book to a “read later” list, which is a nice feature. And, yes, sometimes I’ll go ahead and purchase a book as I hear about it and have it ready and loaded on my Kindle.
- I’m also maintaining a list of online movies and documentaries that I’d like to view. I research sites that review and recommend movies and add the films to my “watchlist.” Even PBS allows me to do this now…a new feature on their site.
This way, when I’m ready to take a break and genuinely recharge, I can quickly pull up a book I’m eager to read or a video I’m excited to watch. After doing this the last week, the results have been really amazing. I don’t have that stressed out feeling after my “downtime,” and I really feel more rested and ready to move back into my work. I actually feel recharged, which hasn’t happened for a while.
How do you manage your free time? Do you ever find yourself too keyed up to relax?
Being intentional with free time can help us be more relaxed: Share on XImage: MorgueFile: PippaLou
I’m one of those who can’t seem to be still either. I make out my ‘to-do’ list each evening for the next day so that I’ll stay on track a bit more and not waste time trying to remember what needs to be done. I like your list ideas.
Mason–I do the same thing! It helps me keep track and stay productive, but then I’ve always got an eye on the list. I’m trying to incorporate free time on my list now.
I know what you mean about not being able to relax, Elizabeth. And yet, what’s interesting is that research shows clearly that we are helped by relaxing. Our brains, our bodies, the whole thing. We need to ‘turn it off’ sometimes. It makes us healthier and better at what we do.
Margot–So true! And keeps our blood pressure lower, too. :)
Trust me, I know just how to chill! And I have a long list of shows and movies waiting in line for me to watch.
Alex–Your site is one of the places I get movie recommendations from! Thanks.
That’s me to a T. My husband says I don’t know how to relax. Even if I’m watching a show with him, I’m busy doing something.
Diane–I’m the same way, too. I’m usually multitasking when my husband is watching something on TV (even when I’m allegedly watching the show, too).
Well, your post about Goals in Google Calendar this week inspired me to schedule those things I want to do and should do, including reading the news, practicing yoga, working on puzzles (it makes my brain feel better!) and learning new software. That, in addition to reading and writing/editing. It’s liberating to see 15 minutes to read the news as opposed to feeling like I *must* spend the whole morning on a story. Shorter: scheduling is making me feel both more efficient and relaxed. Having said that, I keep meaning to schedule time to watch Korean movies on Netflix ;)
As I’ve been moving to be more efficient, social media has naturally fallen off, and I don’t miss it. Playing online solitaire would be more relaxing!
Deb–Isn’t Google Goals great? I’ve only deferred something once (and hated to do it!) Nice to have little reminders to keep the big picture in mind. Glad it’s working so well for you!
Watching Korean movies on Netflix sounds like a plan! You could even schedule time in to make a watchlist there!
For each of my goals, I got the message that scheduling was taking a little longer than usual, presumably because my Calendar was full. So I’ve deferred more than once, and I’m using it as food for thought.
I try to use Netflix’s My List feature, built off their Recommendations. If only they had a real search function. If you ever wanted to tell people how to drag more functionality out of that monster, the entire internet would read it! :)
Deb–Ah, that makes sense. It’s supposed to learn your schedule over time (good luck learning mine! I feel like it’s all over the place.)
Oh, yes, the search engine on Netflix! I don’t even try to use either Netflix’s or Amazon Prime’s (or PBS’s for that matter)…they’re awful! I’ve gotten so I Google “Best streaming on Netflix/Amazon Prime/PBS now” and follow their recommendations. :)
As I have read somewhere, “you’re not a human doing, you a human being.” A good thing to remember.
Hi Elizabeth – it’s easy to waste those minutes … I try and avoid doing that and will definitely make plans over the summer months to have that mastered – leading to being more productive, because I’m more organised, more in control and don’t ‘wallow around’ in unnecessary tasks .. or watching ‘silly’ things … still we all get there in the end – it’d be good to get there earlier! Cheers Hilary
Hilary–It’s *so* easy to waste that precious free time! Good luck with your summer project. :)
I’m one of those who is able to relax. I have to give myself down time or I become so stressed out I’m impossible. I’ve learned over the years, that being still and quiet is not slacking off. It’s re-charging. And it’s often where my most wonderful insights and ideas come from. The hard thing is to discern the difference between wasting time and really having relaxing, quiet time.
Karen–I love that you’re prioritizing that free time! I need to follow your lead…I could use some great insights and ideas!
I’m definitely with you, Elizabeth. It can be hard to relax—I find I have to sort of “give” myself the time, and remember that it’s important to refilling the creative well. Otherwise I fall into the guilt trap, too. (I should be doing something!) I’ve gotten good at just feeling the guilt and doing it anyway! (ha)
Colleen–I need to get to that point! And good to hear that you can move through the guilty feelings and make time for relaxation. :)