Self-Care “Menus”

June 17, 2024 / Motivation and the Writing Life / 14 COMMENTS

by Elizabeth S. Craig @elizabethscraig

I’m not really sure that “self-care” was in my vocabulary 20 years ago. I would have understood the concept of it, sure, but it never would have really occurred to me to devote any time to it. At that point, I’d have had a six-year-old and a two-year-old. I was writing, squeezing it in when I could, and juggling lots of other things, too.

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve started putting self-care on my to-do list. That’s primarily because, despite my empty nest, it’s still very possible for me to get burned out . . . primarily on writing, but also with managing family life and helping with care-giving for my mother.

I’ve made some realizations along the way. One of them is that self-care isn’t something that just needs to happen after you’re burned out. It really needs to function as a preventative mechanism. It’s sort of like what sleep doctors say about sleep: you can’t just go, go, go all day long and then expect to fall asleep in five minutes when it’s bedtime. We can’t operate that way and not expect to get burned-out, either.

Another realization I’ve made is that self-care doesn’t have to be something big or expensive. It doesn’t have to be a vacation (although that would certainly be nice). It can be something as small as a piece of chocolate or a cup of tea or a phone call to a friend.

I read an interesting article a while back by Katlyn Duncan on the Alliance of Independent Authors blog. She had a different approach to self-care that I found very compelling, since I’ve always been something of a clock-watcher. She says:

When you are feeling stressed out about personal or professional issues, choose an item from that menu that aligns with the time you have available. Whether it’s a quick five-minute breathing exercise, a 20-minute walk in nature, or an hour of dedicated reading time, having a self-care menu makes it easier to prioritize self-care in the moment.

Another, similar, thing I do is to make sure it’s easy for me to pick up an interesting book or watch an interesting show or movie. I carefully curate my to-be-read and my viewing watch lists. That way I can always easily jump into something that I’ve already vetted as something that seems interesting to me.

Do you take time for self-care? What’s on your “menu?”

Self-Care “Menus” Share on X

Image by Anna Palinska from Pixabay

  1. Playing my guitar, my daily jogs, playing a video game for thirty minutes – all part of my daily routine. So, I guess I'm already doing self-care and didn't even realize it.

  2. No matter what a person does for a living, whether it's writing or something else, self-care is essential. I couldn't possibly agree more. I've had more than one experience of pushing myself beyond what I should, and by then, you're already fried. As you say, it's best to make self-care a regular habit. I know for me, taking a walk, doing yoga, and a few other things are important to my health. They really help, and they don't cost anything. You don't need to spend five hundred dollars on a spa day to take care of yourself. You just need to 'tune in' and focus on your well-being.

  3. I discovered last year that I have to exercise for at least 30 minutes in order to sleep well. I was also reminded that I genuinely enjoy exercise, at least the kind I do, and it feels like a treat for me. I've also started doing little things for my skin, like using a moisturizer I really like, and a scrub once a week. Little things like that. Relatedly, I finally started to practice hand sewing, something I've wanted to do for decades, and I'm enjoying the process of learning that skill. I consider that a form of self-care because, aside from having a meditative quality, it also activates a part of my brain that gets stimulated by math and writing poetry. As I've gotten older, I'm more aware that I'm happier when I've got all of my brain working for me–a different form of self-care, but very important.

    1. I’m with you! I exercise every morning and find it does help me sleep better. I don’t really enjoy it, but I love having *done* it, ha. I can see where hand-sewing, away from the machine, would be great for maintaining focus on something quiet. I love the idea of working on different areas of your brain as self-care.

  4. Since I've lost my husband, taking time for self-care has been essential. Exercising, reading, watching good TV I'm interested in, and playing games on my phone are some of my self-care tools. And it's important to take care of yourself when you're a caregiver for someone.

  5. A friend got me hooked on pedicures and I got a water bath foot massager for Christmas. I use it every other night and it really relaxes me and helps me sleep.

  6. Hi Elizabeth – as I'm about to change up my life-style … I will definitely bear these thoughts in mind – makes so much sense. I have one major thing that I need to do – so I can give a treasured book back to a friend – it's got lots of technical and v interesting information in it about western Australia – so I need to take detailed notes. Then these menu ideas, and self-curating concepts make sense … not just lists – but more pertinent and useful I'm sure. Thanks for the recommendations – cheers Hilary

  7. I think my self-care menu is huge but I like the idea of doing something from it in the time I might have. I like to be outside walking or in the garden and there are plenty of small tasks to do there that make me feel good. Reading, jumping in the tub, or jumping in the chuck (the ocean) this time of year is the best. In the tub I can read at the same time! Two self-care things. Painting, meditating, doing a small yoga routine, cooking for my fella or eating what he cooks for me, looking out the window at the clouds, all of it.

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