How to Survive Rejection

by John Kerr, @themaltesetiger 

Can we talk about F. Scott Fitzgerald? Author of The Great Gatsby, that American classic we all read in high school. Without a doubt, one of the most acclaimed American writers in history. But, did you know that his follow-up novel, Tender is the Night, was panned by critics?

The book was so ridiculed that Fitzgerald was driven out of the literary world. He fled to Los Angeles looking for success as a screenwriter but found none. Once thought of as a rising star, Fitzgerald was considered a has-been by the end of his career. He died believing he was a failure.

But he was wrong, and today we celebrate him as one of the greatest writers of the twentieth century. Which brings me to my point-

Rejection happens to all of us.

Add it to the column under Death and Taxes. You can’t let it cripple you, though. You must learn from it, and move on. But, how do you move on from something that can feel so personal and cut so deep?

Well, that’s what I’m going to talk about. So, here are a few tips on…

How to Handle Rejection

First off…

Don’t take it personally

Easier said than done, right? After pouring your soul into a story it’s hard not to take rejection personally. But it’s never an editor’s intention to hurt you.

Keep in mind that editors don’t know you from Adam. They’re professionals and they’re not out to get anyone. Their job is to find work that fits their publication. And they get a lot of submissions.

They only have time to read a few sentences. If you don’t hook them, they’re moving on. They aren’t trying to send you a message-

Give up now! You’ll never be a writer!

In short, they don’t care what you do.

Rejection from an editor can only tell you one thing- your story wasn’t right for them. It happens, and it’s not personal. It’s business.

So, move on.

Or better yet…

Learn from it

You can learn a lot from rejection.

Was it a form letter?

You didn’t hook your reader! The editor only read of few sentences before deciding to pass on it. If you receive several form letters that could mean your story needs an overhaul. Stop submitting and revisit the piece. Ask yourself- can this story be fixed or should it be shelved?

Was it a personal rejection?

A personal rejection is great! It means the editor read your story. Well, most of it. It’s a sign that your story works. It’s just not a good fit for the publisher.

Pay attention to personal rejections. Sometimes editors will give you tips on how to sharpen your writing. You’re basically getting a free professional critique! Which brings me to my next point.

Celebrate Small Victories

Let’s say you got a personal rejection from an editor. That’s huge! That’s amazing! You hooked them. They read your story!

Editors have a keen eye. They can spot bad writing from miles away. If you’ve got a personal rejection from an editor it means your story may not be perfect, but it works. It just didn’t work for them.

Or, maybe you got a dozen form letters. That’s great! Now you know something is wrong with your story. You can spend your time fixing it or writing a new story. But you learned something valuable.

Celebrate!

Writing is a journey, sometimes a grind, but never a burden. We get to do this. Take a little joy, a little satisfaction from these “near misses.” You’re on the right track, you just haven’t gone far enough.

Learn when to Let Go

Rejection can be illuminating. It can save you from a lot of wasted nights of editing a fatally flawed work. So, if your story has been rejected forty times take the hint. This story isn’t working. Let it go.

Bad stories aren’t wasted effort. They are necessary for the learning process. Every author has dozens of bad stories they have to dig through before they get to the good stuff. The pay dirt.

So write your bad stories. You won’t recognize them, but rejection will help you spot them. Then you can write another bad story, and another, and another. Until one day, you’ll start writing the good ones.

Process and Move On

Rejection is a good time to take stock of your work and answer a few questions-

What kind of rejection was it?

A personal rejection?

• Can you make the changes that the editor suggested and resubmit?

A form letter rejection?

• Is this the first one? Keep submitting.
• Add it to the pile? Revisit your work.

Find good beta readers. The best proofreaders are strangers because they’ll be honest with you. Look for an online community where you can share your work and get honest feedback.

Be Patient 

Success takes time.

We hear a lot of stories about writers finding success overnight. But that’s not the normal experience. Most writers toil in obscurity for years, sometimes decades before they get any recognition.

Your first story went nowhere? So what. Write a new one. Sometimes, you haven’t found success because you haven’t sacrificed enough time. You haven’t written enough, you haven’t read enough, you’re not ready.

But, with time, you will be.

Kill your Ego and Find your Purpose

Ego can be a good thing for a writer. Without it, you might not have the confidence to get your story out into the world. But, too much ego will hold you back.

Ego can trick you into believing that your instincts are always correct. That you’re destined for greatness.

I hate to say it, but the only thing we’re destined for is the grave. Any success that comes before that is the result of a lot of hard work and plenty of failures.

Replace ego with a drive to create. Ask yourself why you want to write. Find a purpose. Something that will sustain your writing. Something meaningful.

I write because I love stories. I love reading them, finding their hidden meaning, discussing their secrets with like-minded companions. If someone wants to publish one of my stories, well that’s just an added bonus!

Once you find a purpose, rejection won’t feel like a personal affront. You’ll see it for what it is. A meaningful step in your journey as a writer.

Rejection is a universal experience and it can be useful. So, take it in stride and whatever you do…

Don’t stop writing!

John Kerr is an amateur author and professional junior high English teacher. His work has been published in Helios Quarterly Magazine, The Wifiles, Listverse, and The Texas Writers Journal. You can find his blog at TheMalteseTiger.com where he talks about story and fiction writing.

Photo on Visual Hunt