3 Tools to Deep Point of View: Immerse Your Readers Into Your Story

By Alice Gaines, @AliceGaines

Let me say first off that I’m a romance writer, so all of my examples will sound as if they came from romance novels. It’s my conviction that the techniques I laid out in my book about Deep Point of View apply just as well to other genres. I can’t speak to literary fiction. And of course, as with all craft methods, take what works for you and leave the rest alone.

I was a baby writer, working on my first book, when I wrote an argument scene between my two protagonists. I was in the woman’s POV, and I wrote the following: “He was angry, but he was willing to listen.” I showed it to my critique partner and said, “That must be a POV mistake.” She agreed, but we both thought it worked, so we left it in.

I had similar revelations while writing that book, and I finally realized that what I was writing was the direct perceptions of my POV character, not an author reporting on those perceptions or even necessarily a realistic portrayal of what was happening. In the olden days, we used to call that Getting the Author off the Page, and it was considered desirable.

As I became more experienced, I realized that the words that generally get us into trouble with distancing the reader from the character are verbs that fall into three identifiable categories. Those are:

Perceiving verbs: the five senses – see, hear, touch, taste, smell. “She saw him put the phone down” is an author telling you what the character saw. The same with “He smelled something off,” or “He heard the door slam.”

Thinking verbs: Think, doubt, question, realize, imagine, be puzzled or confused. “She wondered what he was thinking,” is distancing. So is “He questioned her motives,” and “He realized she was lying.” Also, “She was confused by what he meant” is reporting on her state of mind rather than showing it. (Have you spotted the worlds “telling’ and “showing”? Yes, that’s what I’m talking about.)

Emoting verbs. Love, hate, like, desire, fear, wish, etc. To feel anger, hope, fear, joy, sadness, or any other emotion. “She hated snakes,” is not the best way to show your POV character hates snakes. The same with “He liked chocolate.” And “She was so sad” is a lame way to convey your character’s unhappiness.

Whenever I can, I attend sessions on Deep POV, and usually, the speaker gives a nice review of things like character sketches and other methods of knowing the character intimately from the inside. Then at the end, they speak about “filter” or “distancing” words to avoid. Generally, the verbs I’ve outlined are on that list but not in any organized fashion. I think it’s much easier to remember those three categories – perceiving verbs, thinking verbs, and emoting verbs.

There are limits to this, of course. You might want “Charlotte hated snakes” in the very beginning of a scene to set the POV. Then, too, sometimes you can twist yourself – and the reader – into knots to get around those verbs. But in general, try to avoid them unless you’ve ascertained that they really do belong there.

So, how do you get around using these verbs?

There are more examples in the book, but the solutions vary from the extremely simple to the more complex. Instead of “she saw the wagon train approaching,” try “the wagon train approached.”  Or use “something in the box stank” instead of “he smelled something bad in the box.” Instead of “she hated snakes, try “Damn! A snake not six inches from her foot.” Rather than “She wanted to go outside,” how about “It was so beautiful outside, and she was cooped up in this room”?

After all, if you’re afraid of snakes, when you see one, you don’t think “I’m afraid of snakes.” You think, “Get that slimy thing away from me.”

By the way, snakes aren’t slimy, which brings me to my last point. We’re conveying our characters’ perceptions, and human perceptions are very often wrong. Show those perceptions, wrong or not, and the reader will figure out what’s true. Solving a riddle like that makes the reader feel clever and gives them a little extra jolt of pleasure. And that’s your job, after all.

ABOUT ALICE GAINES

USA Today bestselling author Alice Gaines writes about nice people having outrageous sex. She’s published with numerous houses, including Red Sage, Dorchester, Harlequin Spice Briefs, Carina Press, and Avon Impulse.

Her Regency romance, Captain and Countess, was one of the first ten books selected for Kindle Scout.

Over her long career, she’s won several awards and contests for her writing. She currently writes erotic contemporary romance and sizzling paranormal romance for Entangled Publishing and Changeling Press.

She’s a firm believer that Deep Point of View is a powerful tool for pulling readers into your story.

SITE: https://alicegainesbooks.com

BLOG: http://alicegaines.blogspot.com

AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE: https://www.amazon.com/Alice-Gaines/e/B003ZO8D70

Photo credit: Harry Pammer (temporarily off) on VisualHunt.com