by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig
There’s nothing so awful as being pulled out of a great story by reading a typo. Unless, of course, you’re the author of the story and a reader is telling you that they were pulled out of your story by an error.
There are lots of different mistakes that can yank readers out of a book, but the good news is that you can try to look for them before we publish…or, if you self-publish, you can correct the errors even after publishing.
Here are a few of the most-common issues that pull readers out of a story:
Author intrusion. It can be very distracting when an author starts lecturing on their favorite topic or cause, especially when it doesn’t fit in with the character or story.
The need for readers to suspend their disbelief too frequently. I think most readers are happy to suspend their disbelief at least once, but when it becomes a regular thing, it’s frustrating.
Too much author research. Or unnatural presentation of the research. Research can be incredibly important, but not to the point where it overwhelms the story and basically turns into an information dump.
Poorly-planned or disappointing endings. Deus ex machina, among them. It’s no fun to come to the end of a book you’ve enjoyed and the ending falls apart, is rushed, or is unbelievable.
Continuity errors. You can do a special round of edits on your story to weed these out. Readers quickly pick up on goofs where a character suddenly has a different outfit on but doesn’t change clothes.
Head-hopping (shifting POVs in the same scene). It can make it hard for readers to settle in, never knowing which POV will come next.
Smart characters making dumb choices. Or even illogical behavior for a particular character that isn’t in line with her personality. Characters investigating dark basements alone when there’s a killer on the loose. Or even a character that acts completely out of character for no other reason but to act as a plot device.
Excessive descriptions of people or settings that don’t reinforce the story world or develop the characters. I nearly always skim during long-winded descriptions. It just slows down the story’s pace.
Boring or awkward dialogue. Really, it’s just better not to mimic real conversations since they’re not interesting when they’re in print.
Too much inner dialogue. If your novel seems to have a lot of it, maybe it’s time to write in a best friend to be a sounding board for your character.
Typos. We all end up with them, but it’s important to get rid of as many as we can.
These are some of the main offenders to me…what would make it on your list?
Common Mistakes that Pull Readers Out of a Story: Click To TweetPhoto on Visualhunt
You did a great job of listing the common mistakes to avoid. I really don’t like stories with too much description or a slow-moving plot.
Me either! I do a lot of skimming when that happens.
You’re absolutely right, Elizabeth, about the frustration when you’re pulled out of a story (and the sinking feeling when a reader tells you that something you did had that effect). It’s funny you mention ‘head hopping’ as one of those things. I just finished a manuscript with more than one POV, and part of my revising and editing will be making sure those POV changes don’t cross that line…
I’m sure you’ve done a great job with it, Margot!
Yep, yep, and yep. I think you’ve hit the general reasons that make me stop reading a book. Also, too many dialogue tags and the author using the characters names too much in dialogue. That last one really irritates me. There are only two people in the scene, but it read like: “Hello, John.” “Hello, Mary.” “How are you, John?” Mary asked. “I’m fine, Mary,” John said. That’s an over the top example, but I’ve read books that felt that way. A page of that and I want to throw the book at the wall. Lucky for the book and the wall that I like my Kindle too much. LOL I think a lot of the dialogue problems could be solved by the author reading their work aloud. If it doesn’t sound natural out loud, then it isn’t.
Oh, yeah, character names being dropped in dialogue! That really bothers me, too. Such a good point about reading our stories aloud!
Since I read a ton of submissions, I’d say head-hopping bugs me the most.
It’s so disruptive, isn’t it?
I agree with you about everything except the head hopping/multiple POVs. Yes, when it’s done badly, it’s jarring, but when it’s done well, it enhances the story. Two of my favorite authors — Ken Liu and Fonda Lee — do this, and they’re seamless. I would agree that you need to be careful when doing it — and do it judiciously — but I think it’s one of those rules that needs to be taken more as a caution than an absolute.
You make a good point there, Deborah! Maybe the mistake should be “trying head hopping and multiple POVs if you’re an inexperienced writer.” When it’s done well, it can be a good element in a story. I prefer it when the different POAs are divided by chapter and it’s very clear whose head we’re in (chapter titles, etc.)
In a lot of genres — I’m thinking of romance and mystery, but I think it might also hold for horror — multiple POVs can be both confusing and, to some extent, take you out of the objective of the story or the genre itself. (And if you’re doing it everywhere you’re flirting with the omniscient POV, and that’s different and, I think, less engaging.) I find it easier to write in a single POV per scene myself for romance and mystery, but in fantasy I’m starting to feel like I can stretch my wings a little :-)
Interesting! I hadn’t thought of it in terms of genre, but you’re absolutely right. With mystery, it really wouldn’t work with a cozy. I dislike it from a thriller standpoint (getting an anonymous killer’s POV), but I know it can be effective (it’s just too gritty for me). Thanks for giving your perspective here and enjoy your fantasy writing!
Great list, Elizabeth!!
Thanks, Mike!
Wow……I wish all authors had more understanding on the things you just wrote about. I have been so disgusted to buy a new author and then have them overly describe things to death where it takes up a page or two of descriptions and not just once, but every time they wore something or ate something. We don’t need detailed descriptions that are just page fillers. Same with animals. Yes, we love them, but, as an example of an author I won’t read again….. do we need to know from the protagonist that she loves her pet so much she has a video cam in each room and every place she goes she stops to watch it and informs reader of all the cuteness. This is why I love your books! So well written you want to spend more time with them and hope another book is coming the next month. :-)
Thank you! You’re too kind. I try to write what I like to read (with varying degrees of success!) The next Village Library is done and I’m writing the final scene for the next Myrtle now. :)
Hi Elizabeth – typos really frustrate me … but I really do not like a weak ending – one that’s not strong enough and doesn’t properly wind the story up. Lazy author, and sadly not caught before being published. All the other points you make are so sensible … cheers and have a peaceful and happy festive season. Hilary
Lazy endings are the worst!
Hope you enjoy the holidays, Hilary, and happy 2022 to you, too!