Help Handling Requests

by Elizabeth S. Craig, @elizabethscraig

I was reading through my Feedly RSS feeds (I work and curate links about a month behind in the feed reader) and I came across a post by writer Steven Pressfield. It was one of those articles where I scheduled a share, but then saved the post to read more closely again later.  It was called “Clueless Asks” and as soon as I read the title, I knew what it was going to be about. Because I get a lot of these asks, myself. In the post, Steven Pressfield explains that time ‘is the single most valuable commodity you own.’

Funnily enough, I was on another blog and they mentioned a post from industry expert Jane Friedman (and I’m laughing as I write ‘industry expert’ because that’s something she addressed in her post, as well). She wrote in response to “Clueless Asks” a post titled “If You’re Successful, People Ask for Help. But Who Deserves It?” She writes: “Today, even before I open my email, my blood pressure spikes thinking of all the requests, problems, and complaints I’m likely to find.” It’s a great post and mentions how she’s compromised in some instances to respect her time while still responding to requests.

These are different from opportunities.  I’m good at saying no to speaking at far-flung events where I will have to spend money for gasoline or a plane ticket and a hotel without getting compensation.  These other requests are, as Jane Friedman and Steven Pressfield put it, ‘asks.’  And they’re from people I don’t know.

I’m adding on to their excellent posts because I know writers (and several of them are regulars here) who are in the same boat.  They want to help people who ask them for help. They’re overwhelmed with emails and requests. What can they do?

Just a  quick note that this article is not directed at my readers or online friends who reach out.  I never mind emailing and reaching out to either of those groups because they know me…either through my books/characters, my blog, etc.  This is more how I handle asks from people I’ve never heard of who reach out.

 Prioritize the strangers you help. These are examples of the requests I’m most likely to help with: 

Writers who really need help, have tried to figure things out, and seem stuck.

Emails from students .

Emails asking about very specific promo-related or writing-related elements.

Writing-related, industry-related help (beta-testing, etc.) that might lead to networking opportunities for me.  This is, honestly, more of a quid pro quo for me.  Maybe it doesn’t belong in the list, but there are a lot of these things that pop up.

Consider politely rejecting some. I’m much more likely to give a polite rejection to: 

Emails that appear to be form letters.

Very vague emails from people I don’t know who don’t appear to have done any research.  (“How do you get published?”)

Content marketers. And I don’t mean the super-professional ones…I mean the ones that want to write you a guest post about vacuum cleaners.  Those types of marketers are like biting flies. If you don’t respond, they’ll keep biting at you and filling your inbox.  I highly recommend using a canned response, if you’re on gmail. It’s sort of like getting a form rejection (which makes me shudder a little…I remember getting those. But hey…persistent content marketers.)  Here’s how to create a canned response in gmail and outlook.

Factors that impact my ability to help:

Mainly just the craziness level of my life at the time.  It literally hurts me to reject a request…I get stomachaches and headaches.  But when I’ve got a book that I’ve got to get to my freelance editor on deadline (and that is a deadline in self-publishing…if your editor is open, you hurry to make sure you’re ready to send it), a child that has a lot going on (that I need to drive to, help with…I’m about to ‘graduate’ from this task when she turns 16),  family emergencies (some of those are going around), then something has got to give.

Many times I want to take part in the group giveaway, test the cool new software for writers, or help someone make sense of self-publishing.  But I also know that I don’t do anything halfway and my helping will eat up a lot of my time.

What I struggle with is that the reason I’m doing well with my writing today is because so many others have helped me along the way when I’ve asked questions or needed help.

Tools to make your helping easier:

Canned responses. I mentioned this above. I have them for advertising requests, requests to ‘update’ old posts with backlinks to fresh content, for general questions on mystery writing, and how to start out with self-publishing.

For instance,  I may send out this response to a content marketer looking to guest blog:

Cornerstone content that you’ve created–a blog post you can refer to.  I have written a series on cozy mystery writing, for instance, and several on how to reach an international audience. I can easily direct writers to these posts.

Cornerstone content written by others.  I’ve sent sooo many writers to Jane Friedman’s ‘start here’ series (for example: “How to Get Your Book Published” and “How to Self-Publish.”)

Like so many things in life, it’s best to do things to please yourself instead of others. It pleases me to help, even if my advice or help goes unrecognized.  Besides, it helps me feel I’ve paid back the writers (some of them no longer with us) who helped me get started out by giving me information and advice.  They paid it forward and I’m trying to do the same, as much as I can.

How do you handle requests?  Do you receive lots of emails, too?

Photo credit: Earthworm via Visual Hunt / CC BY-NC-SA